Who Said It Was Fiction
by Crazychicke
Summary: Hermione stumbles down a rabbit hole and her world is turned upside. When Alice goes missing and Luna Lovegood is unavailable, Hermione must help the Wonderland creatures reinstate magic before the Queen of Hearts declares war. Mad Hatter/Hermione. -complete-
1. Part I

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to Lewis Carol and Tim Burton. Hp belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling and WB. A/N: Enjoy. Edited: 19/09/2014.**

**Who Said it Was Fiction**

**Part I**

Hermione had read a lot of books for a fifteen year old; some fiction and some non-fiction and some she never thought imaginable. She had a thirst for knowledge but she never considered fiction could be real. It had happened the day she had her fourth year exams. She was carrying her books in two large bags over her shoulder. She thought she'd take a shortcut through the lower courtyard. Hogwarts concealed many secrets, but this, she never imagined.

She didn't pay any attention to where she was putting her feet, so it was inevitable it would happen. Distracted by her library books slipping from her shoulder she staggered over something soft and squishy and she was flung onto the grass with a thump. The ground attacked her face and she lay still in an awkward fall, hoping nobody had seen her: it would be too humiliating. Quickly she tapped her wand against her abrasions. The cause of her fall made her stare in disbelief.

The white rabbit was looking up at her dishevelled appearance with a smile. Hermione hadn't slept much over the last few days, she hoped she was hallucinating and she should have left then but she didn't. There was something about the larger than ordinary rabbit that entranced her. It hopped towards the trunk of a nearby tree and stared at her with wide brown eyes. What did it want? There weren't many Hogwarts' pets that were bunnies. Had it escaped from McGonagall's office? It looked smarter than the average bunny. Maybe it was the Easter Bunny. A _lost_ Easter Bunny.

"I'd watch your step if I were you." Hermione had been told a lot of things and she was well aware that animals only talked in books, not in real-life, and even in the magical world, she was sure they couldn't. She closed her eyes and opened them, thinking she was dreaming, but the rabbit was clearing its throat. Hermione swayed, not quite understanding how or why a rabbit was telling her to watch her step but when she did step back, she fell, losing her footing and spiralling down to, (she presumed) death. She struggled to grab something to steady her.

"I told you to watch your step!' The rabbit's voice echoed above her, unhelpfully.

Death was coming...

Then she slowed down, which seemed absolutely ridiculous since she should have crashed into the bottom and broken several bones, but as she slowed, she recognised strange things. A piano, a bicycle, an odd-shaped and coloured lampshade...this was the strangest dream she'd ever had and yet it seemed oddly familiar; like she'd read it somewhere before. Her robes blew up around her face and she pushed them back down, trying to see more of this strange world.

She could see tiles beneath her, like a chess board. She passed an old wooden rocking chair and several ticking clocks with confusion. Then her feet touched the cool floor and she raised her head to see a small hole letting in the only ray of sunlight. Hermione was sure this was a dream. The only furniture nearby was a table with a key on the glass top. Unsure of what she was meant to do, she ignored it to see if there was another exit. It seemed she was down a hole but it was so strange. Why would she of all people fall down a hole? She wasn't this person at all.

She was reliable, trustworthy and never late for an exam. She was supposed to be prepared for everything! She had no books to read, no wand (because that too had fallen out of her hand when she had fallen). "Why don't you try the door?" Hermione jumped. It was only the talking rabbit. _Only_, she reminded herself, _rabbits don't talk_.

"What door?" Hermione replied.

"That door," the rabbit pointed with its foot.

There in front of her was a tiny door about the same size as the rabbit. Hermione reached it but could not fit through it, unless she knew a shrinking spell and although the spell was easy to cast, she didn't have her wand.

The white rabbit smiled again at her predicament which annoyed Hermione and offered his advice, which she was reluctant to take. "You need the key." She pushed at the tiny door first, but it wouldn't budge. Hermione's lips thinned in annoyance. _What key?_ She looked up at the table.She retrieved the key and tried the tiny lock: it twisted and turned but she could not squeeze through the door the size of a watermelon!

The rabbit pointed at the table again, where a small bottle had appeared, but had not been there before. _You've got to be kidding..._Frustrated she returned to the table, key in hand and picked up the small bottle. _Was this the moment Death took her; when she swallowed this bottle of...what? Poison?_

"What is this?" Hermione said turning up her nose. She might be stuck down a hole, but trusting a potion that had been sitting on a table somewhere she didn't know would have been a bigger mistake, she was sure. "It's magical. Read the tag." The rabbit sat by the door impatiently. Hermione thought it was stupid of him to be impatient because if he had told her in the first place, then maybe she would have. In fact, she hadn't even noticed the tag when she picked up the bottle.

The tag read,_ Drink Me._

Hermione weighed up the consequences. If it killed her she'd die too young; if she didn't take a risk, her only escape would be to find some sticks and climb back up the dirt walls which would be an achievement in itself, leaving the only other option, to trust the rabbit.

"Hurry up, I'm late for a very important date."

_You're late! I don't want to know what McGonagall does to me when she finds out I skipped my exam! And Harry and Ron must be wondering where I am! It's not like me, to miss this. I'm probably going to get a T now. _Her stomach twisted painfully at the thought of the failed grade. _Even though it wasn't entirely my fault, s_he added, glaring at the white rabbit.

"We don't have all day!" The rabbit complained.

"Before I trust you, you are going to tell me what this place is." Hermione clutched the magical bottle and towered above the small door and the rabbit. "Why did you choose me?"

"Open the door and find out," The rabbit said without answering her questions.

Being told what to do by a rabbit was highly annoying. "I can't open the door. I don't fit through it, besides you'll just disappear!" The rabbit stared at her, its whiskers flexing. Hermione raised her eyebrows and sat down so she was level to its face and praying it wouldn't bite her: she didn't trust it ever since it had tricked her into falling down the hole.

"Alice is trapped. We needed her cousin but I couldn't find her. You were the only one who looked like you could play the part. This world is full of mystery and evil and you have the chance to save it."

"I'm definitely dreaming, wake up Hermione!" she pinched her elbow and yelped.

"It's not a dream," the rabbit sighed. _She_ would know he was missing. He couldn't be suspected of treason.

Hermione crossed her arms. "What if I don't want to help you? What if I don't drink this?" She raised the bottle in the air in front of the rabbit's nose.

"You haven't any choice." Hermione lowered her hand, defeated. "Drink it and open the door."

"Promise me you won't leave?" she pleaded. There was only one book she had read which had a white rabbit, a _Drink Me_ potion and a girl named Alice. It was a classic, one of the first stories she'd read but that's what it was; a story, made-up, a fantasy: nothing else.

"I don't make promises," the white rabbit murmured.

_If only I had my wand_. Hermione thought annoyed, as she unplugged the bottle and swallowing the entire contents in one gulp. It tasted like peppermint schnapps. It didn't take long to effect her. Soon, she was falling to the floor with a great whoosh and her clothes were far too big for her. She had shrunk to the size of a Niffler. She looked like the rabbit's chew toy.

"Try the key now," the rabbit instructed, rather impatiently.

Hermione took the key, now heavy, considering her tiny size and stumbled over to the door. She put the key into the lock and unlocked it. "Time to find Alice," the white rabbit hopped away, leaving her behind.

"Wait! You sneaky bugger!' Hermione gasped, hurrying after him. "If I had my wand you'd be toast by now!" She ran through the long grass and flowerbeds, trying to keep up. She stopped in the middle of a large field, to catch her breath, overhearing whispers directed at her.

"What is that ugly thing?"

"It smells!"

"It's so silly-looking. Where's its petals?"

Hermione was surprised to see the voices were coming from the flowerbed. Now she'd definitely lost it; talking bunnies and flowers, what next? "Can you please tell me where the White Rabbit lives?" It was a long shot, but at least she might be able to find some answers.

"It talks!"Harry would definitely have laughed in her face if she told him she was having a conversation with a flower.

"Of course _I_ talk, it's you who shouldn't talk," she huffed.

There was a soft _tsk tsk_ and Hermione saw the daisies wilt, making way for a beautiful scarlet rose. "And who might you be?" It seemed to be the leader of the daisies, at least, they had listened when she had tutted.

"I'm Hermione," she said.

"And what brings you to Wonderland?"

"So this _is_ Wonderland?" She was surprised to see that the story had come to life. If this wasn't a dream and she really was trapped in a storybook then how would she ever get home? There was something wise and friendly about the rose, who gave a curt nod in reply over the giggling daises. Hermione asked about finding the white rabbit and was told to speak with Absolem, she thought back to the story and remembered Absolem was the wise caterpillar that spoke in riddles.

The rose pointed to a leaf where the rabbit had disappeared and Hermione murmured thanks, before running through the grass, on what she felt was a wild goose chase.

-:-

Hermione's socks were splattered with mud by the time she reached the hill. It didn't look at all like a place somebody would live. She followed the smoke that led to the pipe. "Absolem?" The intimidating caterpillar peered down at her small figure, a monocle perched on the brim of his nose. Hermione felt incredibly strange being smaller than a caterpillar, nevertheless she stood as tall as she could. She needed to find the White Rabbit and get home. She wasn't ready for an adventure in Wonderland, not with finals and a life to live. If only she had her wand - she might be able to re-size herself.

"Who might you be?" The caterpillar had a snide, low voice which sounded oddly like Professor Snape but that was absurd, Professor Snape was not a caterpillar! She was a witch, a muggle-born witch but nobody knew here. "I'm Hermione, Hermione Granger," she squeaked, wiping the mud from her socks and brushing her hair from her sweaty forehead. Absolem raised his eyebrow - Hermione never knew caterpillar's had eyebrows. She was sure the book never mentioned it.

"And what do you want?"

"I'm trying to find the White Rabbit," she said with a hint of annoyance. He was probably long gone by now. So much for asking for directions, she thought.

"The White Rabbit? He is probably celebrating his un-birthday with the Mad Hatter, "Absolem said, carelessly. Hermione's mouth dropped. The Mad Hatter had been her favourite character in the book. With this news she swayed a little and a curious Absolem watched.

"Un-birthday?" Hermione said, steadying herself against the rock.

Absolem sighed. "Yes, it is a little tea party he has with the Hare, the Hatter and the Dormouse and you shall find him there. Leave me to finish my pipe, I have enough on my mind."

Hermione thanked him, rather confused, he had not given her directions. He seemed to realise this and pointed one of his many legs up the hill and into a forest. Though she had read this scene many times before, she wondered what had gone so wrong that the White Rabbit needed her help to fix it? And where was Alice? She left Absolem the wise caterpillar and his billowing smoke behind as she entered the dark forest. She knew where this led according to the novel - to the Cheshire cat and Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum.

The sun was setting: it was dark and creepy and uninviting. Hermione really wished she had her wand. She took a deep breath and carried on up the dirt path, thinking of spells and hoping they'd work even without her wand. Protection charms, silencing charms and a 'point me' spell which she tested on a stick, holding it in her hands and hoping for the best. The point me spell didn't work but the protection spell did. There was a bang and a giggle and Hermione fell back against the nearest tree as two twins with bright orange hair came bumbling toward her, carrying fireworks and arguing.

"It worked!"

"Did not!"

"Did too! It went 'bang'!"

"Did not, meant to be bigger!"

"Can't be bigger than that."

"What did it hit?"

"Nothing..." he seemed disappointed.

"It hit me," Hermione breathed. She hoped they didn't noticed her, but who was she kidding, she should have stolen Harry's invisible cloak as well. They saw her.

"A girl!"

"What fun!"

They grinned and caught both of her arms. "I'm trying to find the White Rabbit - I'm off to the tea party - can you show me where to go?" Dum giggled which was not a very comforting sign.

"Yes! Yes! We will show you!" they said. Without letting her go they bounced and pulled her one way and the other, back and forth until she had had quite enough. They had been going around in circles which was a complete waste of her time.

"I think she has had enough boys," a disembodied voice stated.

The twins let go of her arms quickly as if being reprimanded by their parents. Hermione flinched and stared at a tree branch where two blue eyes were materialising in front of her: its striped purple coat was next with shaggy fur and an unnaturally wide, toothy grin. It seemed to be admiring her as much as she was it.

"The Cheshire cat!" Hermione breathed. He was more beautiful than she had imagined. Crookshanks would definitely have been jealous of her admiration over him.

"You said you were looking for the Mad Hatter?" Cheshire grinned even more, which was bizarre to see as his teeth gleamed in the darkness."He brought you to stop the Red Queen, didn't he?" It seemed to Hermione he already knew the answer to both questions. "Well, you better be off on your way then. Just follow the little forest creatures and you'll be there."

"What forest creatures?" Hermione wondered aloud, she had not seen anything except the cat and Dim and Dum. Hermione stepped background and as soon as she had there was a loud **H-O-N-K**. She apologised to the small creature with a horn for a nose. The cat banished the Tweedle brothers back to the forest, apparently they were not needed and she sighed, half relieved. She felt safer with the group of creatures and the Cheshire cat as her guides.

At the end of the forest, she waved good bye to her little helpers. She could hear the Mad Hatter and his company in a nearby field. "Go on." The Cheshire encouraged her. Hermione glimpsed the Mad Hatter's red hat through the bushes and it only made her more exuberant. She had completely forgotten she was supposed to be trying to find her way home.

**A/N: Please review.**


	2. Part II

**Disclaimer: Not mine. A/N: Enjoy.**

**Who Said It Was Fiction**

**Part II**

Hermione stopped, a large nostril towered above her. The person scratched his nose and straightened his hat. "HEY!" Hermione bellowed, waving her arms above her head, but the Mad Hatter heard nothing, her voice was too tiny. His voice boomer and reverberated above her, like a hurricane. She watched him pour himself a cup of tea through a broken tea-cup.

It was the Dormouse who found her half way up a flower stalk with sap all over her hands and legs. There had also been a giant bee which had tried to sting her three times.

"What are you doing?" The Dormouse asked, intrigued.

"I was trying to talk to the Hatter," Hermione blushed. The mouse looked amused. "Can you please tell him to come down here?" Hermione asked.

"And why should he do that?" The Dormouse had attitude. Great, just what she needed.

"Because I'm trying to find the White Rabbit and I've already spoken to Absolem and the Cheshire Cat and my feet a sore and -"

"-and you might need a cuppa?" The Mad Hatter offered her his hand.

Hermione climbed onto it much to the Dormouse's surprise. The Hatter brought her up to his face where he could see her better. He had a nice handsome face with dark green eyes that looked like they were changing colour.

"Actually, I need to find the White Rabbit," Hermione pressed.

"You just missed him," the Mad Hatter smiled. "He was late." The Hatter explained.

"So I heard," she murmured.

"You will feel better once you've had some tea," he said.

Hermione was instantly reminded of Seamus Finnegan, mostly because of his accent. This Hatter was young and handsome - "Hare - more tea!" The Hare poured tea into an odd set of tea-cups and sauces and Hermione watched in awe as the Mad Hatter lowered her onto the table and passed her some tea in a thimble and a crumb of teacake, which was plenty - she was hungry after all.

Hermione was about to take a bite of the tea cake when she noticed one side had the words. 'EAT ME. GROW' and on the other 'EAT ME. SHRINK.' She took a nibble of the grow side and the Mad Hatter winked when she grew to her original size.

She sang Happy Un-birthday at the top of her lungs; she threw tea cups at chairs, drowned in the delicious scones with jam and cream and drank lots and lots of tea. She was obviously on a sugar high as she giggled her way through stories of the Hare's first job and the Dormouse's adventures and the Hatter's life story and then she grew with fear as she heard _her_ voice.

_"_Bellatrix Lestrange?"

"Who?" The Dormouse laughed outright and threw a scone at the Queen's party.

The Hatter's hair had changed from a fiery orange to a dark blue and he forced a piece of the 'shrink me' cake into Hermione's mouth. The Hatter swept her up safely in his hand, popping her into a teapot for safe keeping. He started sipping his Irish Breakfast as though he was not afraid of the impending challenge.

"I thought I told you not to have any parties unless they are about me!" Hermione didn't need to see the Queen to see her. She had seen the illustrations and she was as fierce as she remembered. Hermione whispered the same protection spell as before but projected it across their little table, including the Hatter and his friends. She drowned out the neighing of horses and the barking dog, concentrating only on her magic.

"Is this a new rule?" The Dormouse asked.

"This has always been a rule," a deep husky voice stated, darkly.

"Not when the White Witch ruled." The Hare laughed, and then there was a scuffle and a yell.

"The White Witch is banished! I am Queen and you are not to mention my sister's name!" Hermione was reminded of a child's tantrum, she tried not to break her concentration. "Arrest that Hare!"

"Don't you dare touch him!" The Dormouse had intervened, and somebody screamed.

"Come now Queen, we meant no harm. Let us be," the Hatter stated calmly.

"You are harming the Queen with this get-together," the husky voice replied, sounding closer.

"My apologies, I thought trivial matters like a Tea Party would be beneath such a powerful Queen? Why don't you join us?" He seemed to be smiling through these words. Hermione smiled too. She knew her protection spell was working, they were going to be ok. Just a little longer.

"We don't want fat-face to join us," The Dormouse complained, "do we Hare?" The Hare burst into laughter and there was a clang, which Hermione presumed was the Hare throwing something at the Knights. The Queen screamed and there were clanging of chairs and tea cups then Husky voice: "Arrest them - Long live the Queen of Hearts!"

The Queen screamed in frustration making the Hatter laugh. Hermione heard Husky shouting orders, then the Dormouse sounded confused, and then running feet. Hermione was so focused on her magic she almost forgot where she was.

"Come along," the Hatter whispered into the tea pot. "Don't exhaust yourself with whatever you are doing." _How had he guessed she was doing something?_ She held onto the side of the pot and listened to the Hatter's feet pounding along. The Dormouse was shushing the Hare who was still laughing, maniacally.

"What's happening?" she hissed to the Hatter.

"We are on the run. They tried to arrest us, but whatever you did stunned them. There was some sort of protective spell around us. This is wonderland but I've never seen anything it, so I'm presuming it was _you_ who intervened?"

"Yes," Hermione grinned. "Wandless magic. Newt level."

"Thank you, my dear."

"How can she arrest you for having a party?"

"She is the Queen, she can do anything."

She slipped down the tea pot's sides wondering when it would be safe to come out. The Hare had stopped laughing, but the Hatter was still running.

"Where's Alice?" Hermione asked.

"The Queen has her, did the White Rabbit not tell you?"

"The White Rabbit ran away before I could ask," Hermione frowned. It was all his fault that she was stuck in Wonderland instead of being at Hogwarts, she thought.

"He has a tendency to do that," the Hatter replied.

"Can you take me out of this tea pot please - I'm getting a bit bruised." Hermione said as she slipped onto her knees for the second time. The Hatter's hand opened the top of the pot and she was free. "What's your plan?" Hermione asked, looking at the Hatter and then at the Dormouse, the Hare nibbled its own ear.

"The White Witch can help us," The Hatter said.

"Where does she live?" Hermione sighed. Would she ever see the White Rabbit?

"In the Valley of Darkness where the Queen banished her."

"Do you know who Alice's cousin is?" Hermione asked, suddenly.

"I believe her name is Luna, she loves this little wonderland." Hermione could have slapped herself for not thinking of her in the first place! The Hatter set her down and gave her the 'Grow me' cake.

"I think it would be easier on both of us if you regained your normal size. We don't have much time so my plan is to get you to the White Witch."

"Is that where the White Rabbit is?" Hermione asked as she took a bite of cake and felt herself growing taller. It felt nice to stand beside the Hatter again. She was glad her clothes did not break off this time, instead they expanded to fit her. She smiled as the Hatter offered her his hand, again.

She forgot how old fashioned they were in the book. It was nice. Neither Harry nor Ron would ever think to do that. She smiled and they hurried through the long grass and into a clearing.

"We're trapped," The Dormouse squeaked, holding up her sword. The Hare stared at Hermione as if just realising she was there and the Hatter smiled, pointing over their heads.

"See that black castle down there, it should be white but when the Queen took the crown it was forced into darkness and decay. The White Witch is trapped there, unable to use magic. I believe Luna was recruited to help free her magic and once Alice killed the Jabberwock, they could bring peace to Wonderland."

Hermione swallowed, and now she would have to find a way in Luna's place, and how was she to know which spell had taken the White Witch's magic, and who was the White Witch if Bellatrix Lestrange was her sister?

The Hatter, Dormouse and Hare were watching her expectantly, like she knew what she was doing.

"My wand is in Hogwarts, I dropped it before I fell," she explained.

"You mean this thing?" The Hatter smirked, and handed it to her. Hermione was temporarily speechless, taking it and testing it against her hand. A bunch of daisies spurted through the air and landed on top of the Hare's head. "I'm not all mad, I also like an adventure from time to time. Follow the Hare, he knows the way and Dormouse and I will fend off the Queen's knights, won't we?"

"You bet we will!"

Hermione only had a minute to stare at the Hatter as the Hare took her hand and talking to himself all the way, led her down the hill and towards the Black or was it White, castle. Hermione had no time to fear the Queen and her army - instead she was focussed on meeting the White Witch. She wondered what the White Witch looked like.

**A/N: Extending this story so as not to cram the chapter with too many things. Please review.**


	3. Part III

**Disclaimer: rights belong to their respected owners. A/N: Apologies for the delay. Enjoy! x**

**Who Said it Was Fiction**

**Part III**

Hermione crossed through the open iron gates, feeling determined as her boots echoed across the marbled courtyard. She held her chin high, wand close, just in case. The castle was in decay, alright. Tiles had crumbled from the towers, and fallen through to the courtyard. Now weeds practically overtook them, and she scraped her legs on its sharp edges as she found her way to the entrance. It was eerie and the arches were many, all cast in shadow, and she felt like she was being watched.

"Nothing to be worried about," Hermione muttered to herself. "I've fought trolls, survived a basilisk, and Dementors, and the Yule Ball, whatever is waiting for me in the shadows, it's nothing I can't handle." She started again, passing a stone pillar and whispered, "Lumos!"

Her wand light shined against the dark walls of the castle and she was surprised to see a woman standing in the shadows. The woman smiled, her long brownish-blond hair fell past her shoulders, and she wore a daisy crown. Hermione lowered her wand, not seeing her as a threat, and begged her to come out. The woman entered the courtyard, her long dress dragged against the ground, caked in dirt and cobwebs.

"What is your name, child?" the woman queried.

"Hermione Granger, I'm a wizard. Hatter sent me, I'm looking for the White Queen."

"I am she. You can call me Andromeda, ah, Bayard, what is it?"

Hermione stepped aside, just as a bloodhound skidded to a halt beside her. It eyed her suspiciously, then took a few gasps of breath and collapsed by the Queen's bended knee. Andromeda patted his head and eased his pain, hearing his story, and with a grim expression looked up and said:

"The Hatter and Dormouse have been arrested by my dear sister, the Red Queen. Come, we do not have much time, and I will need you to rescue my champion. It is rumoured she is being held prisoner, much the same as I. Your wand..." she began, eyeing it curiously. "Do you think you could help me with a potion, before you go?" Andromeda said to Hermione.

-:-

Andromeda stood on the opposite side of an old wooden table scattered with various coloured bottles. She proceeded to talk Hermione through them, adding pinches of this and that, which resulted in Hermione covering her nose as Andromeda added three mouldy fingers to the cauldron as a last ingredient.

"It's quite alright, they grow back," Andromeda added as an afterthought.

Bayard was sitting on guard just outside the door, and every now and then they could hear him lapping up fresh water from the fountain which bubbled away outside. Andromeda stirred the ingredients clockwise three times, then let it simmer for a few minutes on low.

Hermione watched it bubble away and then the steam changed from a dark grey to blue.

"I'm making a location spell, but as I have been cursed, I wonder, if perhaps you can do the incantation? Then we can see exactly where Bella has hidden something of mine she stole."

Hermione vaguely remembered this part of the story, but it had gone differently, then.

"The champion's sword?" she breathed, suddenly.

"You are clever," Andromeda smiled, skipping through pages in an old book and pointing to the spell.

Hermione smiled, feeling as though McGonagall had given her a compliment. She repeated the incantation after Andromeda and then tapped her wand four times, whilst thinking of the sword.

"Well?" Andromeda asked when nothing happened.

"I don't know," Hermione shrugged, a little disappointed by the outcome.

Andromeda walked around the table and led Hermione back to the door, then, as they turned their backs, the cauldron exploded and the dark room was flooded with light and voices. Bayard entered, howling but the White Queen calmed him, and listened, smiling calmly, like their gibberish actually made sense to her. Hermione watched the silhouettes shimmer across the walls, then stop at what looked like a dog house.

The hairs on Bayard's stood up, and his tail went beneath his legs.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, reaching out to comfort him.

"The Bandysnatch's quarters. Its bite poisons and kills within hours, it's too dangerous."

"I may know of a way," Hermione said aloud, thinking back to her first year, where she, Harry and Ron met a three-headed dog guarding the Philosopher's stone. "I will need a soldier's nose to help me find Alice, and then we can rescue the Dormouse and Hatter."

Andromeda put her hand on Hermione's shoulder. "We are lucky to have your courage and cleverness in wonderland today. I wish you both the best of luck, and will wait for your return."

Andromeda walked them to the gate, and whistled to the stables which Hermione had not noticed were there until now. A chestnut coloured horse trotted up to them, and Andromeda handed her the reigns. "For your journey, my favourite mare, Boudicca. Look after our guest, Bayard."

-:-

Hatter was frantically tying, pressing, twirling and cutting bits of ribbon, string, feathers and sequins to every coloured hat, shape, size available to him. The Dormouse sat on the window-sill peering out at the rain clouds and digging her sword into the wood in her frustration at being locked away.

Getting into the castle had been easy thanks to the White Rabbit, whom Hermione remembered was a page in the books, and had entered the same way Alice had, through the hole in the wall near the croquet garden, making sure she didn't step on the hedgehog on the way. Thankfully it must have escaped from the Queen already. Bayard crept through the gap, and Hermione told him to find his bitch and puppies, whom he had told her, were imprisoned by the Queen.

"I'm going to find Alice, and the sword, meet you back here in an hour or two. If we run into trouble, I shall cast my Patronus: it's an otter, it will find you, and maybe some of my other friends-" Hermione thought of the Cheshire cat and the Tweedle brothers, feeling as though months had gone by since she had last spoken to them. Hermione and Bayard separated, Bayard to the cellars, and Hermione up the castle steps, through the servant corridors and up the staircase, which she had to remind herself did not move, like Hogwarts'.

A husky voice reached her ears, it was coming from behind a tapestry, and another voice was there, a girl's voice and then sounds of a struggle. As though a light bulb had struck her face, Hermione hurried forward about to yell, 'stupefy' when there was a S-M-A-C-K and Hermione watched Rodolphus Lestrange, a bearded knight, with cold grey eyes stumble to his knees in shock.

"You will regret that, you little-" Husky's hair was askew and he had just seen Hermione.

"Jelly-Legs!" Hermione yelled, sending another curse at Husky, she grabbed Alice's hand before she could ask questions and they left Husky screaming for the guards, while his legs collapsed and wiggled beneath his continuous efforts to stand. Hermione hoped Bayard had managed to get away, because she knew their element of surprise was slowly dwindling.

"Hatter," Alice said, pulling herself free and turning the key in the locked door, and barging in.

Hermione hesitated, knowing it was also important to get the sword, but like Harry, she had to make sure everyone else was ok. She took the key from the lock, entered, and closed the door. Alice was trying to calm down the Hatter who was having a fit and throwing hats out the window. The Dormouse was commenting on Bayard and his family, having escaped into the courtyard, but the deck of cards, Hermione remembered had given her nightmares, that posed as the Red Queen's knights, were now circling him, and his howls were his call for help.

The Dormouse avenged him, diving to her freedom, and pinging from the banners and onto the heads of unsuspecting guards. Hermione sent a few reducto curses at them, blasting one into many, and watching them fall like dominos. Then Husky, Rodolphus Lestrange, his legs back to normal and with murder in his eyes, swung his sword in a show-offy way, Hermione thought, and pointed it at Bayard. There was only one thing for it, plan A which involved a musical harp, was replaced with plan B, which involved: "Accio Champion's sword!"

Hermione pointed her wand at the Bandysnatch's kennel and the sword smashed through the glass window and spun through the air and into Hermione's outstretched hand. She smirked at the look of horror on Rodolphus' face, and her smile faltered when he cut his sword violently in front of him, beating down his own guards in his haste to kill Bayard and his family. Hermione could not stay any longer, she looked to Alice and the Hatter in desperation. She was about to jump when:

"Take one more step, Knight, and I will rip your eyeballs from their sockets!" The Dormouse was standing between Bayard and the Knight, as big as his boot, but as brave as Neville Longbottom. Hermione smiled, and Alice, as though she were a long lost friend, rested her chin on Hermione's shoulder, to see. Hatter could be heard muttering to himself, and tidying up his latest tantrum.

"I'm not afraid of you, little mouse. Bandysnatch! I've brought you dinner!" Rodolphus sneered.

Hermione gasped, and Alice took the sword from her hand, holding her gaze. "Help Hatter," and with that, just like the Dormouse, Alice jumped from the window, and made her way, like a gymnast, down to the courtyard, to face Rodolphus, the Knight.

"I don't much like you anymore," he said.

Alice rolled her eyes, checking over her shoulder to see Dormouse swishing her sword, the size of a needle, threateningly. "I feel it better if I were to cut off your head!" Rodolphus took another step forward, all niceties had drained from his bearded face.

"How would the Queen feel of your taking that right away from her? I don't think she'd be very happy? In fact, I'd say you were usurping her power," Alice began, feeling more confident now she was reunited with her sword.

"Careful Alice," Bayard warned as the Bandysnatch burst through its house.

The Dormouse raised her fist, shouting a war-cry before attacking the half dog-half polar bear with spots. "Quick pups, Bitch, follow me now while guards are down."

Many of the guards were still seeing stars, and Hermione did not have time to watch and see the fight. There was a little 'oh' and then, Hermione pulled shut the window, to keep out the noise, as the Red Queen stood in the door way, staring at her and her frizzy hair.

"What is HER name? Who are YOU? What are you doing near MY HATS! THEY'RE MINE, not yours."

"She is my model," Hatter started, throwing the nearest hat onto Hermione's head. It fell past her eyes, and smelled strongly of mothballs. Next, Hatter threw on another, and another, and anoth-

"ENOUGH! I will be the model, and you, you, I admire your hair-style, we will talk more in the hall."

Hermione was relieved to not hear any words like I, will, cut, off, your, head and exchanged a grateful look with Hatter, hiding her wand further up her sleeve, so as to not give away her identity.

For a moment the Queen is content, trying on hats, though she prefers none of them, and Hermione sees the Hatter's pile growing smaller and smaller, nervously she fingers the key to the door, still in her other hand, and contemplates how easy it will be to stupefy the queen and lock her inside the room.

She is about to do the spell when a large boulder smashes through the glass window and narrowly misses the Queen, but breaks her mirror. She watches it splinter and fall, then turns, walks quickly to peer out, looks down, and turns - suddenly as red as a tomato. Hermione knows what's coming and she doesn't want to hear it. Grabbing Hatter, she pulls him with her and slams the door, locking it with shaking hands.

**A/N: Please review! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! More on the way. x**


	4. Part IV

**Disclaimer: rights belong to their respected owners. A/N: Apologies for the delay. Enjoy! x**

**Who Said it Was Fiction**

**Part IV**

Somewhere down the hall they meet Cheshire cat, floating serenely, bored almost, but his large toothy grin lit up the whole of the dark corridor. Hermione lets Hatter discuss a deal, and worried that Alice was in trouble, though it was clear she could handle herself. The Red Queen is shouting orders to capture them through the keyhole of her prison, and Hermione can hear the Queen of Heart's soldiers running up the stairs, clanking their swords.

Cheshire took the Hatter's hat from his orange hair, and put it on, turning from cat, to man.

"The tapestries: there's a door to the cellar," Cheshire tells Hatter, before giving Hermione a reassuring glance. "Keep out of sight," he warns him. They watch the tapestry fall back into place and Hermione squeezes the Cheshire's hand - it's warm and feels furry, Crookshanks would be jealous, she thought.

_Jabberwocky!_ The Red Queen's screams unsettle Hermione, and there's a hush among her guards.

Rodolphus swaggers into the hall, followed by what is left of his army: they are bruised and battered but still determined. He demands the return of the key, which he snatches from Hermione's outstretched hand, smirking when she winces. Once the Queen is free, the guards arrest Cheshire and Hermione, shoving them to their knees in a forced bow to their so-called Queen.

Hermione feels the cold blade against her neck and sees the Cheshire out of the corner of her eye, she clenches her fists forgetting all about her wand, which clattered to the ground.

"What is this?" Rodolphus touches it with the tip of his blade in disgust, however it dawns on him.

"It's a wand," Hermione said matter of factly.

"A wand? A WAND?" Bellatrix stood flabbergasted. "You... a, a WITCH?" she spat, aghast.

"Yes," Hermione said, raising her head to see Bellatrix clutching her heart.

Hermione listened to Bellatrix ranting to herself, occasionally Rodolphus would nod in agreement to everything she said. "Just like my sister...Daddy loved her most, because of her special gift! Well, I had to intervene, didn't I? He was a horrible, father. I taught him a lesson in the end. Come," and Hermione and Cheshire were taken to the courtyard where there was no sign of the Bandysnatch, Dormouse, Bayard or Alice. _Had they escaped?_ Because Hermione could not remember this part of the book.

* * *

><p>With the heavy steps of the guards following behind, they were led across the courtyard where Hermione realized the floor was made of marble, and resembled a chessboard. Cheshire climbed the stairs first, they creak with each step, and Hermione sees the axeman waiting patiently for their arrival, clad in black and silently sharpening his blade. Hermione eyed the council, but they did not move, instead they were waiting for Bellatrix's speech which came shortly afterwards.<p>

"These two criminals have broken into my personal quarters and destroyed all my hats. For their lies and treachery, they shall lose their heads! You, Hatter, shall go first, followed by you, witch!"

Hermione felt Cheshire brush her arm as he walked passed, calmly and astutely, and Hermione had nobody to turn to for comfort but herself, she could see her wand sticking out of Rodolphus' trouser pockets and Bellatrix was yelling for the axeman, Macnair, to take position. Her ropes were digging into her wrists and she could hear Ron's frustrated voice in her ear telling her to do something - _'you're a witch for Merlin's sake_!'

Taking a steady breath, Hermione raised her index finger and jabbed it sharply forward, thinking 'Accio wand!' But it was too late, as she caught her wand, Macnair's axe came crashing down upon Cheshire's head, and the Queen and Rodolphus cheered and clapped, hooting with glee at Hermione's horrified face...then, Cheshire, still pretending to be the Hatter, made his head float up into the air - he was grinning, the top hat suited him nicely, the ribbon rippling in the breeze. The council were pointing fingers and 'ohing' and 'ahing' and Bellatrix stamped her feet, she had quite the temper. Hermione felt relieved, and when Rodolphus tried to disarm her -

"Stupefy!" Hermione stunned him. He fell in a heap nearby a shocked Bellatrix. Hermione pointed her wand at the Queen, who jumped behind her council members for safety, and Hermione kept sending spells her way until every member of the council had collapsed - not dead- just a little bruised - she explained to the desperate Queen. Cheshire had floated down to sit on Hermione's shoulder, and twisted his face around to look at her with a fixed grin.

* * *

><p>"Sister, that's enough!" Andromeda glided towards them in a white ball gown. Behind her, Hermione was impressed to see soldiers, dressed in white cotton with chess figures for heads. Alice rode the Bandysnatch and Bellatrix hissed. "Call off your Jabberwocky, this instance!" Andromeda instructed.<p>

Hermione felt like somebody had thrown her into the black lake, she shivered, and saw a black cloud descend over them. Cheshire looked up to the sky and Hermione saw Bellatrix's men surround her, pointing their swords into the air and she too, looked up to see a Hungarian Horntail, it's barbed tail pounded and cracked the end of the chessboard, and it roared, agitated and blood-thirsty.

"Your champion, versus mine," Bellatrix stated, regaining her confidence. Rodolphus stirred, groaning loudly. Hatter walked straight over to Hermione, picked up his hat from Cheshire's head, and fixed it over his bright orange hair. "Alice," he said, like a gentleman, and crossed the board to help Luna's cousin down from her stead, though more menacing than a horse, Hermione thought.

Cheshire's tail wrapped itself around Hermione's neck as he drifted near her. "I have things to do, and places to be, you will be alright, won't you?" Hermione raised her wand, with a nod. "Yes, of course, you are a Hogwarts' witch, after all." Cheshire grinned, and soon all but his smile had disappeared. She blinked, and then even that, had gone. Hermione wondered where Cheshire had to be that was more important than fighting a Hungarian horntail, but she had been grateful to him.

Hermione wished she had Harry's_ firebolt_ broomstick - she thought of summoning it, then remembered Harry and Ron had quidditch practice most afternoons and didn't feel like breaking anymore of Harry's bones by suddenly taking his broom from him, mid-air. Alice was wearing silver armour and a grim smile, leaning against her sword - and Andromeda's chess figures had taken to the squares, while the Red Queen's, took to theirs.

"Are you ready Alice?" Andromeda asked in her sweet but gentle voice.

Alice nodded, catching Hermione's alarmed expression and sharing a small smile - Hermione could not watch and do nothing - but it seemed the fight was between Alice, the Champion and the Horntail - Bellatrix was pouting nearby, arms crossed, and Rodolphus, Hermione noticed had his hand on his sword's sheath. Keeping a close eye on him, she watched Alice bravely cross to the centre of the chessboard, and Hermione felt Andromeda lay a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

The Horntail roared and Alice reciprocated by waving her sword back and forth. Hermione bit her lip, nervously as the Hatter, the dormouse, bayard and the tamed bandysnatch grew quiet, watching. Alice lured the dragon away from them, and up a rocky precipice. Bellatrix seemed gleeful, raising her fist she yelled "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" and the soldiers charged forward - their swords clashed and suddenly Hatter's sword came inches to her face, stopping Rodolphus' from cutting her in two. They duelled, and Hermione was thankful, but he had left Andromeda defenceless, as cards were swarming over Bandysnatch's fur and digging their swords into his howling body - Dormouse and Bayard ripped into them, keeping them back, and the beast's paw scattered hundreds more.

"Bombarda!" Hermione yelled, running forwards as a castle had his head knocked off by a card's two swords. Andromeda stepped over the dazed cards, whispered a thank you and blew into the palm of her hand. Hermione was surprised to see a small ball of fire hovering there. "Go help, Hatter."

Hermione looked over her shoulder to see Hatter on the ground in a tight spot - Rodolphus picks up a fallen knight's horse head and raises it - Hermione intervened, this time the head stayed mid-air then it fell on his head, knocking him out, again. She felt some satisfaction in seeing him keel over, and went to help the Hatter stand. Alice was still fighting the Horntail and Andromeda, she glimpsed, blew into her palm once more, and the flames twisted and grew into long ropes that bound her sister - "No, I banned magic, how are you doing that? Let me go!" Andromeda shook her head.

* * *

><p>Alice, Hermione saw, had nowhere else to run, the horntail's wings outstretched like a storm cloud and it reared its huge head, another terrifying roar and it lunged for Alice! She jumped off the cliff, throwing down the blade and chopped off its head. Its body tumbled, rolled and crashed through the rocks, tearing them down with it - Alice slid down its headless neck, blood had turned to chessboard green and blue, and she hopped from it before she got her shoes dirty.<p>

Hermione wondered what Charlie would think about Alice killing a dragon, and Andromeda surprised her when she blew yet another substance over the dragon: a red powder... the jabberwocky was no longer a beast, its head, now human, rolled across the chessboard and glued itself to its body. He wore a crown, had grey hair and a tired smile. Even Alice looked surprised to see a man where a Hungarian Horntail had been seconds before.

"Daddy, daddy... Andromeda's not playing by the rules!" Bellatrix shouted.

The man cracked his neck and noticed Alice and her bloodied sword. "Thank you," he said, clasping her spared hand in his. "I had the biggest migraine, let me tell you." Andromeda left Bellatrix to her tantrum while she hugged her father. "The balance is restored, father. Magic has come back to Wonderland - thanks to you," she said turning to Hermione. "And of course, to my champion, and my valiant heroes," Andromeda said to everyone including the Hatter, who was rebuilding a fallen comrade piece by piece.

"Let's get you some tea," Andromeda said as she walked back to the castle, helping her father walk.

Hermione joined Alice, and Hatter hurried up behind her, shoving a flask into his jacket pocket.

"Hey? What about me? I'd like some tea?" Bellatrix shouted, and then Hermione saw Rodolphus crawl over to her side and burn his hands on her fiery ropes, then the Hare, who had been picking vegetables this whole time threw a carrot at his head for laughs. Hermione did what Harry would have done and extinguished the ropes, giving them both a second chance.

"It's not too late for you to apologise," she said, aware of the soldiers helping each other to their feet, white and red. Hermione turned her back and took a few steps... Rodolphus was arguing with Bellatrix and then he yelled, an agonising cry that made everyone in the vicinity look up.

"She stabbed me?! Me? Her most faithful knight?!" he spluttered, his hand on his wound.

Bellatrix was standing now. She raised her knife and Hermione summoned it to her, leaving the Queen defenceless. Andromeda was hurrying down the castle stairs, leaving beauty in her wake. The crown from her sister's head suddenly rose up into the air, and Hermione saw Cheshire beneath it, retrieving it like a loveable pet. Hatter was waiting nearby and called her to him. Alice came over as soon as Andromeda had called Bayard and the dormouse to escort her sister and Rodolphus to their new chambers, a prison tower with small cells where they would each punish the other with their existence, and finally where Andromeda could get some peace.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, taking the phial, and staring and the glowing blue and green liquid.

"Dragon's blood," Hatter smiled. "It has medicinal purposes, but right now, it's your way home."

Alice steadied Hermione before she could faint at the thought of drinking Andromeda's father's blood, but she had not thought of home for a long time, and they would probably be missing her. She wondered how mad McGonagall was going to be, and then if Dumbledore would believe it.

Andromeda was by her side whispering kind words of wisdom, then she thanked Hermione for all her help. Alice, she hadn't noticed before to that, held up a magazine upside down - "The Quibbler," she stated. "Luna leant me a copy, but I've finished reading it and I don't want it to get lost." Hermione promised to return it, and felt a little sad to be going. Hermione thanked the Cheshire and the Hare, who had offered her a carrot in passing, and told Alice to give Bayard and the Dormouse a hug for her. Hatter offered to walk her back to the forest, as she said she had one last person to say goodbye to.

Absolem was hanging from a tree branch in his cocoon when she arrived, and Hatter let her have a moment with him, keeping an eye out for the mischievous Tweedle brothers. He was calm, morose almost, as he explained, "I've come to the end of this life." Hermione understood, she felt like everything she had learnt and witnessed in Wonderland had transformed her and like Absolem she would be better for it. "_Fairfarren_, Hermione, perhaps I'll see you in another life...' and he disappeared beneath the cocoon.

Hermione and the Hatter walked the rest of the way beneath the glow of her wand light and some of the woodland creatures came to say goodbye. Hermione fixed the glasses of one and finally, although regretfully they reached the entrance to the rabbit hole. 'Nox,' she said to her wand. She was grateful to Hatter for his friendship and company. "_Fairfarren_, Hermione," Hatter said, taking off his hat and offering her his hand to shake. "We shall meet again."

She shook it, but could not leave things between them so formal, and so she hugged him tight, and sniffed back tears, half wanting to stay but she had exams to do and friends to take care of, and Luna to find. Hatter smiled, detaching himself, and wiping the tears from her cheeks. Hermione sighed, flicking open the lid to the dragon's blood and drank it all - it tasted like cranberries and Hermione found herself thinking it was a perfectly acceptable thing for it to taste like - then she was climbing from the hole with - she was sure - twigs and roots stuck in her already horrendous hair, and saw Luna Lovegood reading one of her Quibbler magazine nearby - and in her lap lay the white rabbit.

"Where have you been?" Hermione demanded, dusting off her clothes. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" Luna looked up dreamily. With a hospitable smile, she put her magazine aside to assist Hermione and the rabbit disappeared down its burrow. "I have so much to tell you! Oh - this is from Alice," Hermione gave Luna a crumpled magazine, suddenly apologetic. Luna smiled when Hermione asked her what day it was, and to her puzzled expression, answered:

"Time travels differently in Wonderland to here," Luna explained. "You can tell me all about your adventures, but first we're late for a very important date." Hermione heard Luna's words echo through her mind and she recalled the white rabbit, the drink me potion and Hatter's tea party...and she smiled to herself, gathering her books and hurrying after Luna - perhaps she wasn't mad after all.

**A/N: Please review! Hope you enjoyed this, it's been fun. Thanks everybody for your support by either reading, RT'ing, favouriting or reviewing - it means a lot x**


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